Once upon a time, Siddharth sat under the Peepal tree with his eyes half closed. On his face there was a gentle smile. He seemed to be deep in a happy conversation with someone invisible to others.
For a long time, his follower sat with him. When he sighed, she sighed. When he shifted, she shifted. Around him, there was a glow and she could feel waves of kindness and peace drift towards her.
She had run into the forest to talk to Siddhartha. His peace attracted her, but she was afraid of letting go of all she had known. Siddhartha seemed so happy, but he didn’t look at all like any of the people she knew.
After a while Siddhartha opened his eyes. Shanti quickly brought out an apple. Here, have this, she said to him. Siddhartha, had an idea why she was giving him an apple, but he took it anyway. After a while when both had eaten, he looked quietly towards her. During the time she had sat in silence next to him, she seemed to have many questions.
Seeing his nod, she started to ask him her questions.
Question: What is the difference between Religion and Spirituality?
Answer: There is no difference, except the people who practice.
Question: Then what is the difference between the people who practice religion versus spirituality?
Answer: There is no difference, except that some want to drink from the same stream every day at the same time. They want the certainty that every time they go for a drink, the stream is there.
But those who practice spirituality want to explore and try different streams.
Question: Is the water any different?
Answer: Water is water, but every stream has a different composition and a different flavor.
Question: If my favorite stream is beside me, why bother going elsewhere?
Answer: You are lucky. Enjoy it! Drink happily. But, don’t tell others their water isn’t good, because you don’t know.
Question: Why is that important to the spiritualist, to you for example? Why is removal of ignorance so key to you?. Why are you a scientist?
Answer: Because the spiritualist is seeking something universal within the diversity and he or she is willing to see how great your water is, but not willing to hear those other waters are less wonderful. I am not a scientist, but an observer of the human condition. Ignorance, no matter how perfectly it is practiced, will still give more suffering, it is not a solution for the human dilemma of uncertainty. Yet we cannot remove all ignorance, therefore we have to practice non-attachment.
Question: Could it be that the spiritualist wants something more than access to water? Perhaps she wants to know how to have water always or how to store water, or even to know which water is clean?
Answer. Yes.
Question: What does the spiritualist really want?
Answer. Perhaps the spiritualist wants integration and wholeness.
The religious seeker wants answers and certainty.
Like an insurance plan—a contract.
Question: But Siddhartha, there is no certainty you say.
Answer: I do.
Question: Will the religious seeker be disappointed one day and become a cynic? Maybe not him or her, but their children or their children’s children? And rebel?
Or become a hypocrite, bitter, judgmental and mean about others who drink from elsewhere?
Answer: Yes, that could be.
Question: Then what should we do? Where is enlightenment? How do we go there?
Answer: This question, can only be answered in silent contemplation of what is.
Question: But, that’s too easy! Give me a prayer, a rosary, at least tell me about what God said, or who His prophets were!
Answer: All answers will come. Listen to the heart. All answers are here.
Question: But it is hard to listen, you keep telling me to relax and to feel good! I don’t feel good, I feel angry.
Answer: Listen to the anger. Listen.
Question: But, there is only silence.
Answer. Listen again.
Question: It is my own voice reverberating against the walls. It is me fighting me.
Answer. Listen with compassion.
Question: I am at peace now. I don’t want to stop listening.
Answer: You don’t have to stop.
Question: But, if I listen to myself, I can’t listen to the world!
Answer: You don’t have to.
Question: How can you say that? I don’t want to be like you and take to the forests, like a forest monk! How weird you are!. But I love you.
Answer: You love yourself. Listen. It is not about me, it is about you.
Question: I see that I am love.
Answer: Yes, you are.
Question: Now what! Should we mount a battalion, make a new world order?
Answer: Listen
Question: I just want to give and receive love.
Answer: Then do that.
Question: But, they don’t deserve it!
Answer: Who are they? Don’t you deserve it?
Question: I am not like those people, I am far better.
Answer: Who is saying that?
Question: My insecurity, because people expect me to be better, I expect me to be better. The world expects me to know the answers.
Answer: Then love that.
Question: I think I see it. I am love. I give love not because others deserve it or don’t, but because I am love.
Answer: Who is saying that?
Question: I am
Answer: Who are you?
Question: I am an observer of my condition. A witness.
Answer: What can the witness do?
Question: Witness carefully. I am not any of my states. I am not anything that others say about me. I am not anyone but a human with a role to play. I have a purpose and I am here to fulfill that purpose as best as I can. Love is part of my purpose.
Answer. Are you free now to live your purpose?
Question: Yes. But, I won’t take anything less either from the world! I deserve to be loved for who I am!
Answer: Yes.
Question: What if, there is no love for me? What if others don’t love me? What if I fail in finding the most basic thing? human love and acceptance?
Answer. You can never fail in love. You are right, there is no certainty, it is true.
Question: Then why not stay with the tried and trusted way? Follow the herd, give up on any dreams of finding my own answers.
Answer: Is that possible for you to do? If it were possible, you wouldn’t be here—seeking me in the jungle.
Question: If I make my own answers, will they be wrong or right?
Answer: Wrong or right for what?
Question: Will people love me? Will I be ashamed? Cast out, thrown into hell, when the time comes?
Answer: Is this not hell?
Question: Yes, it is. But, is there heaven?
Answer: You create it. You create it with your thoughts, your feelings, your intentions, right now.
Shanti: I am god.
By this time, twilight had fallen. Shanti got up, the shadows were long and deep around Siddhartha. His eyes were closed. He had stepped out of his body.
The animals and forest spirits who protected him while he journeyed in other worlds, came and formed a ring around him.
Shanti left, but she did not go home. Instead she walked further into the forest.
(c) Saima Shah
