“Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.”— Maulana Rumi
Romantic relationships help people grow in ways that they don’t immediately understand or comprehend at the time of falling in love. Love opens a doorway between two souls and now all of a sudden, the baggage that the other person has is somehow on your plate. And your baggage is now on their plate. However, our baggage is for us to deal with and not meant for the other person. Many people are dissatisfied with their relationships…often feeling unloved in that relationship. Sometimes the disagreement (or the inability to resolve the issues) can become so toxic that it forces the partners to leave the relationship.
Many people these days can at least recall one devastating love relationship. The more sensitive and thoughtful we are, the harder it can be to see sense in the pain and suffering that a deep relationship can bring.
I want to shine some light on the less often talked about issue which is that our experience of love has more to do with our own consciousness than another person’s behavior or treatment. People do what they do, but it is how we take it, that makes a big difference in our daily happiness and peace. Our primary and most important relationship is with ourselves—our memories of love, parents and other significant relationships, create a self and forms our ability to experience love in the present moment. If we want to experience more love, we must burn away the false self.
The process of burning away the barriers such as stuck pain, darkness and the emptiness is enlightenment. When we give up on wanting others to give us what we need i.e., love we are ready for the journey of enlightenment. This journey can take far longer if we insist on not feeling what we truly feel at some level. Quite often people unconsciously stay stuck because of unprocessed and stuck energy…even if they move on, at some levels the old stagnant energy can still surface.
It is only when we open ourselves to the experience that we are truly having, that we can start to see the truth. This isn’t so much intellectual as it is deeply emotional. It is hard work.
It is hard to look within and to sit doing nothing. It is the hardest work that we will ever do, but this work frees us to see what is. Once we experience the intensity of the pain that lies behind our interpretations of the world, we claim space for our true nature to show itself.
The truth is that life is in the moment. We can try to hold on to the past—we can protect ourselves from hurt all we want, but the true gift of the Universe is available in this moment. We only have this moment to experience the divine and unconditional in our life. We must leg-go of the moment just before to invite the gifts of this moment.
Letting go means freedom. Letting go means being empty. Letting go means accepting the gifts and the lessons of the Universe. Love and relationships are gifts. We can’t really order them to our specifications. I know there is a lot of spiritual literature about putting in your order to the Universe and finding just the right person. But personally, I was never sure if finding just the perfect partner would mean happiness. Because happiness isn’t outside, it is a feeling available to us at any time. And there are no perfect partners because we are human and not perfect. A perfect partner is a delusion and a barrier against experiencing love in our present moments.
The Universe wants us all to be enlightened—unless we become love, love may always escape us. Love can come during a romantic moment or be felt in random moments of natural beauty, but when we experience enlightenment, we draw on an endless supply of love. Our soul may yearn for this unconditional love more than human love.
If the pursuit of enlightenment requires a lot of solitude, it is just as valid a choice as companionship. Regardless of being in a relationship or not being in one, the spiritual path will unify the masculine and feminine within the individual. Our pursuit of enlightenment makes us become a vessel for truth and love. This love can often be so great, that people who practice a spiritual path often find it so fulfilling that it occupies all their days. Conversely, if a companion is present, it enhances the abundant joy and happiness that comes from relationship.
An emotional state of scarcity or not enough love creates fear, anger and strife, but when we are one with the divine, there is no fear. There is only fear when we are not connected with the divine.
Your meditation practice is the way you connect with your real companion for this human journey—your divine Self. Human beings are sent into our life by the grace of the Universe, to refine and evolve your soul. No matter how fulfilling or disturbing your experience, the peace of a spiritual practice will restore and fill your emptiness—no matter what happens in the world outside…you always have divine unconditional love within.
What is Love?
Although I may try to describe Love,
when I experience it, I am speechless.
Although I may try to write about Love,
I am rendered helpless;
my pen breaks, and the paper slips away
at the ineffable place
where Lover, Loving and Loved are one.
Every moment is made glorious
by the light of Love.