Meditation can take people on a journey within, and if there is a part that wants to explore the world or live differently, and you meditate a lot, then maybe, it will get stronger. However, it is important to ask, ‘Who is asking the question?” or “Where does this thought come from?” For myself, the question came because I felt resistance and I had to work on the desire to have ‘the last word’ or ‘know it all’. It sounded cool to be critical of my own experience, but I found that thinking like this ultimately damages self worth and kept me from achieving my highest potential.
But, criticizing criticism in turn had the opposite effect–I went right into the opposite side of that polarity–the very place that was ‘woo woo’–again trapped in the illusion that there is a ‘real’ world and a ‘non real world.’ Both are not impartial. I had to honour my resistance and ‘non-allowance’ to allow the experience. It is a bit tricky and it takes patience, because it means staying in the middle of the experience, whereas the heart may be awash with feelings or the mind may critically watch it.
It isn’t so easy, and paradoxically it requires one to keep moving to stay still long enough to see the heart of the experience and not identify with any of the states, emotional or critical. At the heart of this experience lay my deep, long-held, perhaps from before I incarnated, desire to go home. I had a sense of deep loneliness on Earth, I felt I had been separated from my true family.
My critical mind and my spiritual need were both crying about the same thing–the feeling of separation, in their own way, trying to find belonging. But, since neither is true in the moment, the allowing of the experience of separation –something that Rumi speaks about in his poem, ‘The Reed,” is the gift of our sojourn on Earth. Life in the body is a gift, not to be feared or denied….but experienced in the moment with the heart fully open. To understand Rumi, meditation is necessary, without meditation, Rumi could sound like he is on crack!. Perhaps that is why so many people in the 60’s tried drugs…. hmmm…Blessings be for your journey
